There seems to be a stage in life where our own weaknesses have a serious impact on our day to day goings. A good percentage of people lack a crucial means to progressing and growing. Confidence.
I didn’t have the benefit of starting out full of vigour and muscle. I was a heavily introverted boy and everything scared me. Everything! I have a distinct memory of myself overhearing a conversation whilst I was a little nipper in primary school. I remember observing it and thinking to myself, “How are they doing that? How do they talk to each other?”.
I didn’t know how to have a conversation. It was alien to me. Looking back, I could tell my little self that you did know how to have a conversation, you just weren’t interested in what flavour fruit shoot they had this morning.
There are people not living at this stage in their lives, some people find it very hard to move on from this. As I was a very shy person growing up, I hope to give you guys and gals some tips on how to progress through the hardships and earn the confidence you seek.
Tip #1: Comfort Zones
The most successful method I used was identifying what made me scared and anxious and putting all the will power I can muster to push myself into the heart of the situation. Now, don’t get me wrong, this takes a hell of a lot of heart to do this but it is a powerful motivator to keep doing the same thing. It wasn’t long before I realised that most of my fear and anxiety was irrational. Being in those situations, I realised my mind had over-hyped what was actually going on. If you ever come across the situation where you’re scared, head straight for it and see what happens. 1 outcome is that you have a big, massive revelation. The other is that your fear was real. Regardless, it’s important to break out of the trap that is your comfort zone. You’re doing yourself no good if you stay in it.
Tip #2: Stick to your morales
Lack of confidence can sometimes mean lack of faith in your own morality and ideals. Standing up for something against someone who heavily opposes you can do wonders and also annoy the person who is obviously wrong, right?
In this case, your morales can be bad, be good, be unjustified, be completely ridiculous but this is about confidence. Your morality will change overtime into something more ideal to YOU and it is important that you steal yourself and make pure, strong choices based on those ideals.
As an example, every year I give £1 to every homeless person in my town but I refuse to give more than that. I’m an asshole, right? Well, my morality tells me that evidence is being given that governments are helping the homeless get off the street and that anyone who is still asking for spare change has chosen to be there because it’s easier than getting a job. Now, this is my most controversial topic of morality that is me as I know that not every situation is the same. But I sure as hell am not giving more than a £1 to a homeless person. In standing by this, I develop the confidence to stand up for it. This spreads out into other aspects in your life. So go be irrational if you have to be, ok?
Tip #3: Don’t be ashamed to be yourself
Society has a very mean way of letting you know that you’re a wierdo or average. It isn’t the case. The fact that you’re here proves that you have something to show to the world.
I like playing video games, especially JRPG’s and anime games when I can. I used to think that everyone else only bought FIFA and CALL of Duty games and that I was the only one giving these companies their reward for making a game I’m interested in.
I used to be ashamed of this, I was never proud of it for some reason. It was an irrational fear to have. But I’m now proud and outspoken about it. Not to the point where I tell everyone in every conversation that I do prefer them but if anyone brings up the topic and asks me, I’ll let them know. I wont hide it.
The responses I thought I would get would be negative. But they weren’t, it turned out that people either didn’t care, thought it was cool or played the same games.
The point is that you shouldn’t hide yourself away because you’re scared of the backlash. Be modest and humble but be proud. Stop hiding those little things and saying that you go to the gym and go out and get drunk all the time when the most interested thing is that you draw sketches of video games characters. True story for one of my friends.
Confidence IS important to unlocking the 100% within you. You owe it to yourself to let the world know that you’re coming for it. Either to kick it to pieces or hug it. It doesn’t matter.
Just do one of the 2.
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